Night at the Burger Joint a.k.a. Proof Jesus Loves Me and Likes to Hear Me Laugh

Cristin's friend and teammate from Asia was in town recently, so the three of us along with friends Renae and Ka...errr, Baby* went out to eat. Cristin wanted to go somewhere good, yet inexpensive, so I suggested a local burger/fried food joint. (Hey, she said good, not healthy.) I didn't know until right before we got to the restaurant that Baby was coming. I made the comment as we got out of the car that I couldn't see Baby dining at this place and that dinner should be interesting. Oh little did I know!

To give you a little background on this burger joint, it is located in my little Southern town and is run by, how shall I say, small Southern town "country" people. Not people Baby typically kicks it with on a Friday night...or any other night for that matter. We ordered our food up front and then went to the back to find a table. One of the rooms in the joint was closed off for a Tupperware party. I felt a little excluded, but tucked my insecurities away and tried not to be bitter about the fact that the "partiers" were allowed to sit in the room with the murals of Greece on the walls. Yes, that's right, Greece. This place is what would happen if South Carolina and Greece made a baby, albeit smaller and not as loud.

Our food was brought out and we continued our lively discussion about Cristin's weekend as athletic trainer at a cheerleading competition. As we ate, the conversation progressed to the topic of men and how we wished they understood us better. We started talking about writing some books to help our male counterparts and the title "How to be Normal" came up. It turns out that one of the goofy young male workers was listening in on our conversation, apparently enjoying it, and decided to contribute. He said something along the lines of, "If you have to read a book on how to be normal, there's a problem." Cristin, hoping to scare him away, replied, "Well, we're talking about guys, so tell your friends what you just said." Burger Boy, showing either great courage or stupidity, I'm not quite sure, actually shot back at Cristin something about guys having just as many problems as "y'all girls." I chimed in with a low, but still apparently loud enough (I've never learned to whisper) voice, "I don't have problems." My table chuckled and Burger Boy smiled and went on to try to make himself look busy.

We continued on with our conversation and a few minutes later Burger Boy was back for more. Sure, it was getting irritating, but I could tell Baby was the most annoyed by our unwelcome "friend." As she was finishing a sentence, she tacked on the end, "...and just go away" towards the direction of our "friend." While I thought this was all pretty funny, part of me wanted to crawl under the table out of embarrassment for the guy and because I was afraid a confrontation was about to take place. If Baby decided to stab Burger Boy with a spork, I wasn't prepared to deal with the police afterward. (The police here are a whole other story). However, a confrontation did not take place and we figured he heard Baby's scathing command and would certainly not be back. WRONG.

We continued our conversation, moving off the topic of men. Renae was speaking while Burger Boy decided to come back and interrupt. He leaned over on the back of the bench between Renae and Baby. Baby, startled, lurched forward to avoid being touched by him. She gave him a look that could kill and I feared that she might try to rip his arm off once the surprise factor wore off. This is basically how the conversation went:

Burger Boy: So, my friend is working the register and he was talking about y'all. (to Baby) He was looking at you and thought you were cute, and I told him he didn't have a chance...I think I hurt his feelin's.
Cristin and April: (Just laughing hysterically)
Baby: (Definitely not laughing hysterically) Right.
Burger Boy: I'm gonna bring him back over here and do you think you could just flirt with him some and make him feel good?
Baby: No
Cristin: I think that's our cue to leave.

I composed myself from laughing and filed out with the rest of the group. It was a shame because we were having some good conversation. Darn, you, stupid people for ruining a good thing! At least you compensate for giving me a good laugh and story to tell.

*Name changed to protect the writers

Post written by Cristin and April